A Beginners Guide To Anal Sex For Women

By jen | Women

Anal sex is certainly among the more difficult ways to be with your partner, there is more possibility for something to go wrong as well as some possible humiliation you might feel when it does. 

You might also be worried about how painful anal sex can be.  

With the right preparation though you can get rid of your worries and find out for yourself if anal sex is something you and your partner will enjoy.

Preparing to Have Anal Sex For the First Time

Discover Yourself First

The rectum is tight and having a full-size erect penis inserted into it can be a rather, um, intense experience.

Unlike the vaginal canal which expands as you get excited, your booty's going to stay the same size.  It doesn’t grow wider when aroused to accommodate your partners penis comfortably.

But, you can get used to the feeling with a bit of practice. 

Play by yourself and explore your ass prior to making the decision to have anal sex with a partner.

You can start by using a finger with some high quality water based lube.  Feeling around your ass and inserting a finger or two will let you gauge what it will feel like and get you used to the sensation.   

You can then move up to  a butt plug or other toy to see how stimulation really feels. The more you play, the more you will know if you like it.  You will also learn what sort of stimulation you enjoy more than others, so you will be able to confidently communicate to your lover what you like and don’t like -- increasing the pleasure of the experience for both of you!

Eat Properly Before Having Fun With Your Booty

If you recognize that there are specific foods that disturb your belly, these are precisely what you need to stay clear of for a day or two ahead of time. Keeping your body and also tummy pleased will help the remainder of the prep to go much smoother.  

Eating well before hand will help put your mind at ease and give you less to worry about while you prepare to have anal sex and are engaged in it.

Getting Clean Before The Deed

Remember poop isn’t stored in your rectum. It simply travels through on it’s way out of your body. So, as long as you go to the bathroom in advance, there should not be much to worry about any embarrassment about what might be on your partners penis when they pull out of you.

If you are concerned though using a douche or enema can help you out.  This isn’t essential, but psychologically it could be helpful if this something you are worrying about.  The more your mind is at ease the easier and better the sex will be! However bear in mind that it is not a vital part of the prepping process.

A good idea prior to exploring yourself, or having anal sex with a partner would be to shower well.  Cleaning your ass thoroughly on the outside is a good idea, and as preparation you use a mild soap on your fingers to insert into your booty while taking a shower to make sure you are clean and get used to the feeling of having something in your rectum.

Get Your Bed (or anywhere else) Ready For Play

Set up the location in whichever means is going to make you really feel most comfortable and loosened up. And also by all means, put down a towel if you intend to! This will certainly additionally aid with the lube circumstance because as I will tell you, you are most likely to require a great deal of it.

Lube, Lube and More Lube

You are going to want a good amount of lube, and you are going to want it on anything that is going to be inserted into your ass.

Put lube in and around your butt hole, the penis and any fingers or toys that you might be using as foreplay. 

Unlike the glorious vagina, your ass isn’t self-lubricating. No matter how excited you get, it's not going to lube itself and you will have a better experience if you use a lubricating substance to make it more pleasurable and safer. 

You can easily tear something if anything is inserted to quickly, with too much force and without proper lubrication. 

You don’t want this to hurt or cause you injury!

Make sure you lube up the opening of the anus and also the inside of it with a finger or a lubricant launcher to make sure everything is covered all the way up.  

Also, don’t forget to lube the penis, too!  I know I mentioned it already, but it's worth the reminder!

Use a Condom

Even if you have both been checked for sexually transmitted diseases, and have a clean bill of health, you might still want to use a condom. 

Some people find it to be more pleasurable having the slicker surface a lubricated condom when they first try anal sex. 

It can also put your mind at ease that you aren’t going to be leaving anything on your partners penis. Not that this is should be a concern if you’ve followed the guide up until now, but anything that can help put you in the right state of mind is going to make the experience better!

Foreplay!  Don’t Just Stick It Right In

Make sure you are aroused first.  You know your body best, and will know what relaxes you and makes you feel good.  Use lots of foreplay to help loosen up your sphincter muscle before beginning your anal play.  

The outside of your anal opening also has a lot of nerve endings, stimulating these through light touches and teasing will also help you prepare to have anal sex for the first time.  The more sexual arousal you feel, the more of the ‘love hormone’ oxytocin is released. Oxytocin is a natural pain reliever and will help relax your body. All of these are good things when you are going to try anal sex for the first time.

Don't Be in a Hurry, There is No Reward for Quickness

Take is slow!  Allow your body to get used to the new sensations. Have your partner ease in a little to allow your muscles get used to the sensation. If there is any pain you are probably going to tighten up, that’s natural!  Just take it slow and very soon you will both be enjoying yourselves.

Relax and Push

Relaxing comes up a lot doesn’t it?

If you are feeling tense about having anal sex it’s probably doing to hurt more than it should. 

One way to help you relax your rectum muscles is to push out, similar to if you were using the toilet while he is slowly pushing his penis in.  I know this sounds weird, but this will help you open up.  And don’t worry you aren’t going to do anything embarrassing when you do this if you have properly prepared up until this point!

Talk to Each Other

Don’t assume that your partner is going to know if you are enjoying yourself or not. 

A painful moan in the heat of the moment might be interpreted as pleasure to your partner.  Let them know what is or isn’t working. This is a new experience for you as a couple and it’s going to take some time to learn what you both find pleasurable or not.  

Lube, Lube, and More Lube Redux

Reapply lube when you need it. Remember, no matter how excited you are to be having anal sex your rectum isn’t going to start lubricating itself.  If things are starting to feel a little dry or uncomfortable use more lube.  

Don't ‘Double Dip’

Any movies you might have seen on the internet withstanding, after the penis is in your butt, don’t then put it in your vagina (and to be on the safe side vice versa).  There are bacteria unique to each part of your body, and mixing them up can create problems like UTI’s or yeast infections.  

Have him wash up his penis when you are looking to switch the style of sex you are having.  Or if you are using condoms, change the condom for a new one.  

Better safe than have an unpleasant surprise down the road!

Persistence Pays When It Comes To Enjoy Anal Sex

Be patient!  

Anal sex can be fun, but it can take more work to be thoroughly enjoyable. You will want to be comfortable both physically and psychologically about having anal sex if you are going to completely find pleasure in it.  So take your time and move at a pace that is comfortable for you.

If things are painful at first, talk to your partner about what could be done differently.  Maybe more lube is the answer, or maybe you need to be more aroused and relaxed. Don’t do anything you feel uncomfortable with, but also don’t give up too soon!

With the right preparation and communication with your partner you will soon find that you will find pleasure from all new nerve endings in your body that you may not have previously had stimulated, and this can lead to an even greater level of intimacy between you and your partner.

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